Your ability to control your impulses when it matters most is crucial, but taking risks can also reap rewards, writes Sarah Brennan
Impulse control – the ability to resist temptation, think before acting, control emotional outbursts, make rational decisions and manage conflict – is a key component of emotional intelligence, which research suggests is key to achieving success (1).
Some of the earliest research into impulse control was carried out in the 1960s and 1970s by Stanford University professor and psychologist Walter Mischel. He conducted a study on delayed gratification that was later known as ‘the marshmallow experiment’. A sweet treat was placed in front of a four-year-old child, and they were told if they didn’t eat it while alone for 15 minutes, they could eat that treat plus a second one.
The study spanned 40 years, and it was the later findings that were critical in understanding the importance of delayed gratification. Children who ‘earned’ the second treat achieved higher SAT scores, were less likely to be overweight, were more adept at managing stress and were more academically and socially competent. Simply put, those who demonstrated the ability to delay gratification experienced more success in life.
It is easy to spot the positives of having high impulse control in the workplace and everyday life. Examples of people with enviable levels of impulse control include: leaders who maintain composure under immense pressure; managers with the patience to ensure everyone is up to speed before charging ahead on a project; and friends who never anger even when cut up by another driver. Once you understand how impulse control is demonstrated, correlations between those behaviours and the outcomes of Mischel’s study become apparent. Interaction with others, achievement and self-management are all affected by our impulses. When we refrain from doing things that later make us feel bad, our self-esteem is boosted, making us feel happier about ourselves.
High levels of impulse control lead to less turbulent relationships, including those of a romantic nature. Couples with high levels of impulse control have greater levels of trust, feel more satisfied with their relationships and experience less conflict.
Before researching how to increase levels of impulse control, it is important to consider the downsides of this emotional intelligence competence. Many entrepreneurs I work with have lower than average impulse control. They may have emotional outbursts, but that inner voice saying ‘just go for it’ is the same one that told them to take a business risk that paid off. This is a risk that most people would talk themselves out of. The excitement that being impulsive brings may be short term, but the strong release of dopamine in the body enhances mood and increases focus (2).
When reviewing levels of impulse control it is not as important to consider whether you have it in droves, rather that you can exercise it when it matters most. Achieving this balance depends on how your impulse control and emotional intelligence competencies combine. Someone with low impulse control but high emotional expression may not run the risk of offending others when they impulsively voice an opinion, as they communicate their feelings in a non-offensive manner. Someone very high in impulse control and low in emotional expression may appear lacking passion or not being able to say yes at times. Finally, low impulse control but high flexibility may mean making so many changes without factoring in long-term considerations, that people struggle to support that course of action.
While there are benefits to developing high levels of impulse control, before focusing on how to increase yours, consider how balanced your overall emotional intelligence is. It is your unique balance that determines whether your current level of impulse control serves you well – or needs some work.
1. Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman, 1995
2. Nature's Ritalin for the Marathon Mind, Stephen Putnam, 2001 (pages 53-54)
Sarah Brennan is co-founder of Evolving Edge