Don’t set yourself up to fail, says Jan Hills – changing behaviour is about small steps
It is that time of year again when we start afresh. New Year gives us the impetus to put aside the old and start anew. This is most often seen in a New Year resolution; those promises we make to ourselves about the new behaviours we will adopt for the coming months.
So how is it going? For most people the resolution season is a time of struggle, sacrifice and tough mindedness; using all our willpower to stop one behaviour and start another. Whether that’s giving up sugar, wine or some other vice or starting exercise, study or healthy eating. Of course at work it is no different. Resolutions happen there too; from leaving on time to connecting with the team more, to clearing the email inbox.
The trouble with using willpower is that we as humans are not really built for it. Thinking about stopping behaviour only increases the networks in the brain that make us think of the old habit. It is much easier to start something new and to let the old habit wither away. And willpower is weak in the face of embedded habits as it takes a lot of brain energy which is depleted when we are stressed tired or hungry.
Embedding new habits can be tough too. Over the last few months I have been experimenting with the work of BJ Fogg at Stanford. His research called ‘Tiny Habits’ may be useful as it suggests it’s not too late to resurrect lapsed resolutions. Part of his philosophy is to learn what trips you up not just what makes you successful.
It works on the premise that you start doing something small that becomes a habit. The method is to make a clear statement of the new behaviour you want. State the cue, the thought that will remind you to undertake the new behaviour and then actually do it. For example, 'after I clean my teeth I will floss one tooth'. The trick is to make the new behaviour tiny. I mean really tiny. Another one might be, 'once I open my email I will clear the box'.
My experience is that the cue is really important. It needs to be deeply rooted, something you always do, and it needs to trigger you to remember to do the new habit. Fogg also recommends you set things up to make it easy for yourself. If you are going to start flossing your tooth have the floss in sight on the bathroom shelf, or if the tiny habit is practicing your piano cords pick a cue that is near the piano so you don’t get distracted moving from one room to another. If it's talking to your team each day pick a time and preceding activity that you know you will always be doing. Like straight after you take your coat off.
What seems to happen, at least this was my experience, is the smallness of the new behaviour prevents you from making up excuses about why you can't do it and once you start doing it you are so pleased with yourself that you extend the behaviour; one tooth become the whole mouth, why not do it as you are there and have the floss in your hand. Talking to one team member becomes a second and soon you have covered the whole team. And if you do only carry out the one tooth floss there is no failure. You have done what you promised yourself.
Part of the method is to give yourself a mental high five or pat on the back when you have carried out the new behaviour. Say 'well done' or whatever. This produces a shot of dopamine in the brain and makes you feel good, encouraging you to do the activity again to get the mental reward.
Fogg runs a free coaching programme via email for a week to help you get the cue and routine just right.
Try it you may surprise yourself and within a few days be routinely doing that exercise, flossing or have an empty inbox.